Who wrote “Risk”? Is the mystery solved?

Have we solved the mystery of who wrote the popular poem attributed to Anais Nin, known as “Risk”?

I can say this: Since posting this mystery a few years ago, nowhere has its source been found in any of Anais Nin’s oeuvre. So how did it come to be attributed to her?

That remains a mystery.

However, Elizabeth Appell has come forward with a compelling case that may hold the answer of who, if not Anais, actually wrote the poem:

What I’m about to tell you is going to seem strange and maybe even impossible, but it is the truth. I wrote the quote, “And the day came when the risk to remain closed in a bud became more painful that the risk it took to blossom.”

I wrote it in 1979. I was Director of Public Relations for John F. Kennedy University in Orinda. One of my responsibilities was to write, edit, and publish the class schedule which included events, news, and class information for the up-coming quarter. The target market for the university was and still is, adults going back to school. Every quarter I came up with a theme meant to inspire and motivate.

BrochureI believe it was January when I started on the spring schedule. Up against a deadline, I quickly jotted down the line, and shared it by my colleague, Jerry Skibbins, Vice President of Development. He liked it so we ran with it. Consequently it went out to thousands of households in the East Bay. We also published a poster and put it on BART trains. This was a very wide distribution. As far as I know, attribution was given to the artists who illustrated the designs, but I never thought to attribute myself regarding the poem. My name appeared only as “Editor.”

Another wrinkle: at the time I was using my nickname, “Lassie” as well as my first husband’s last name, Benton. I was known as Lassie Benton. Since then I gave up the nickname to use my given name, Elizabeth, and remarried Allen Appell, hence Elizabeth Appell.

From the beginning the school got a huge response from the poem. I started seeing it woven into tapestries, and then printed on posters, cards and in books. At first the attribution was “Lassie Benton.” One afternoon I attended a calligraphy show at the San Francisco Library. There was the poem, but now the attribution was “Anonymous.” Sometime in the 80’s I found a card using the poem. I bought because it was attributed to Anais Nin. I wrote to the publisher of the card, but received no response. I just let it go.

Recently I gave a reading in Nevada City, California as a part of a women’s writing salon. The woman who read before me began her piece with the poem. I smiled. “What do you know, it still lives.” She was shocked when I told her I’d written it. She suggested I Google the poem to see that always it is attributed to Anais Nin. I did. I am astounded at how it has proliferated the internet, almost always attributed to Anais Nin.

I say almost because I found a life coach in Arizona who uses the poem on her home page. There it is attributed to “Lassie Benton.” She tells me her web page went up in 2006, but she can’t remember where she found the poem.

Yesterday two of my friends brought me copies of their newly published books. Yes, in both books, up front, there it is. The poem. And of course it’s attributed to Anais Nin. That pushed me over to take action.

I wrote the poem in 1979. I am the author of the poem. I’m extremely honored to have written something that has touched so many people.

Elizabeth kindly produced the 1979 brochure on which the poem is printed, as seen above. Judge for yourselves, folks, but it seems that this mystery may be solved.

***Get the 2013 issue of A Café in Space: The Anaïs Nin Literary Journal with excerpts from Nin’s the soon-to-be-published Mirages: The Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1939-1947 on Gore Vidal: click here for print version; click here for ebook version.


7 Responses to “Who wrote “Risk”? Is the mystery solved?”
  1. Anais created so many myths that have become the reality – when I first visited her in her NYC residence the concierge of the building did not “register” the name Anais Nin and told me no one by that name lived there – and then…..”Ah! You mean Mrs. Guiler!”
    “Lassie’s” tale (no pun) rings true.
    Things and words had a way of “belonging to” Anais.
    I was recording one her University talks after having had dinner with her.
    She began:
    “We are here to celebrate the REFUSAL TO DESPAIR.”
    Although she had written to me saying “I am taking your phrase ‘refusal to despair’ with me on my tour, I was startled to hear it so beautifully, powerfully, and softly uttered.
    I never told her it was not “mine” but “belonged to” the American philosopher Charles Sanders Peirce. No doubt it is now hers.
    Please excuse any typos – thumbnailed on my blackberry
    Thanks4 keeping Anais’s memory green

  2. Thank you for sharing this information. I’m so glad I read the “disputed” section on the wiki post (http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ana%C3%AFs_Nin#Disputed) that led me here.

    I would like to share with Elizabeth Appell, fka Lassie Benton, that many Sales Directors in Mary Kay use her quote (and attribute it to Anais) with those who make the decision to become new Independent Beauty Consultants. It was very meaningful to me when I became a consultant 17years ago. And I think of it often when making decisions in my life… I will do what I can to correct the source credits in my Mary Kay world.

  3. I have been writing for a long time. Every now and then I hit a chord, but never like the chord I hit with the “Risk” line. To be in the literary circle of Anais Nin is a thrill. I’m proud and grateful.

  4. jaye oliver says:

    i read this qoute (with the rose illustration) in 1979 at a time when I was in need of a major life change.
    It prompted me to enroll in John F Kennedy school of Consciousness Studies. I received my Master’s degree there a few years later.
    The quote carried me through a time of doubt and fear… allowing me to take the risk to open myself to my unknown future.
    Grateful to Elizabeth Appell for the inspiration, I am using it again at another time of need.
    Many thanks!

  5. Glad you connected with the quote in such a deep way, and am glad you know who the real author is.


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  1. […] to that, but might there be another written source for the quote?  Enter Detective Google.  This link explains (and verifies) that the quote was written by someone else, and somewhere along the way, it […]

  2. […] “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” (Elizabeth Appell). […]

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